Everybody Wants To Rule The World

"She's A Maniac"

Thank you, Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton! Thank you for your inspiration and for your encouragement to us, The American People. Because if it wasn't for your most recent announcement that you want The American People to help choose your campaign theme song, this blog entry would have never even been conceived! Thank you, Senator Clinton, for taking a slow news week, and helping to create the latest blog entry for thousands of bloggers across this fine nation. It's not every day that we get a story idea as custom-made as this one. You are truly an inspiration to us all.

So, being the good, patriotic citizens that we are, we here at 'I Read on the Internet' are happily throwing our suggestions into the ring as well....along with a few extra theme song suggestions for the rest of the top running candidates, even though they had the good sense not to have asked in the first place.



Our Top 3 Song Selections For Hillary Clinton's 2008 Presidential Campaign:



"Crazy" by Patsy Cline
"Dream On" by Aerosmith
"The Bitch Is Back" by Elton John


And our #1 choice for Hillary Clinton's Campaign Song for 2008....


"That'll Be The Day" by Buddy Holly


And while we're at it, here's a few more suggestions for the other candidates:


Senator Barak Obama

"Oh Lord, Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood" by The Animals


Senator John McCain

"The Impossible Dream" by Paul Anka


Former New York Mayor
Rudy Guliani

"Don't You Forget About Me" by Simple Minds


Senator John Edwards

"Beautiful Loser" by Bob Seger


SenatorJoseph Bidon

"Livin' On A Prayer" by Bon Jovi


Senator Fred Thompson

"It's The End Of The World As We Know It" by R.E.M.



Senator Mitt Romney

"Who Are You?" by The Who



And, just in case he finally decides to throw his hat in the ring for one more try...



Academy Award Winner Al Gore

"Feels Like The First Tme" by Foreigner



But no matter who wins this time around, our feeling is that the theme song for the American People should be....




"Help" by The Beatles

When Georgia Doesn't Rule At The Box Office

"Desperate Moviestars"

In our ongoing attempt at getting some seriously-desired attention in the entertaiment world, we at 'I Read It On The Internet' are once again offering up our services to those fine folks in the movie marketing world. Knowing that a good movie review can bring in additional big bucks at the box office, we are once again offering up a completely legitimate movie review of a current movie that could no doubt use a couple of positive slug lines.

Our latest mission of mercy is for a truly putrid film 'Georgia Rule'. With an average Metacritic review of 26 out of 100 (ouch!), this is one film that will have a hard time pulling any positive quotes to place on their posters. That's where we step in. We not only have provided this movie with a fair and decent review (seriously!), but we've also gone ahead and pulled out those much-coveted quotes and placed them on the posters for you! You can thank us later.

And now, with no further ado, here's our legitimate review:

Georgia Rule
Jane Fonda is back! Again! And in a movie that she'll no doubt consider as big of a mistake as last year's way worse film the truly horrible Monster-In-Law! What was she thinking?. But compared to Monster-in Law, Georgia Rule is a huge success.

This newest bit of fluff involves 3 generations of women - can you say 'ultimate chick flick'? - whose lives come together after the mother - played by Felicity Huffman - decides to ship off her troublemaking daughter - the troublemaking Lindsay Lohan - to live with her granny - Fonda, looking quite good for a granny. So, what happens when 3 generations of troubled women get together? 90 minutes of sheer miserable agony that takes the joy out of going to the movies.

The screenplay was written by Marc Andrus - the same guy who brought us 'Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood'. Why did Hollywood give him a second chance?! It's just not right. You'd think Jane Fonda would choose a powerhouse script to make her return to the big screen. Obviously, Monster-In-Law taught us otherwise. Maybe she thinks everyone is really into women fighting, women bonding, women arguing, women bonding, women sharing divine secrets, etc. She would be wrong. Honestly, I can't think of anything more painful than sitting through this mess. Possibly a root canal would be a better way to spend an afternoon than with these griping, bitching, moaning gals.

Obviously, as much as we'd like to endorse this stinker, we still have our scruples. But, fear not, movie promoters! We have devised a way to help you promote your lousy movies. For example, here's the same review, only with certain phrases highlighted, for the sheer purpose of movie poster promotion...


Here's your quote....

Jane Fonda is back! Again! And in a movie that she'll no doubt consider as big of a mistake as last year's way worse film, the truly horrible Monster-In-Law!

...and here's your poster:





Here's your quote....

But compared to Monster-in Law, Georgia Rule is a huge success.

...and here's your poster:





Here's your quote....

So, what happens when 3 generations of troubled women get together? 90 minutes of sheer miserable agony that takes the joy out of going to the movies.

...and here's your poster:




Here's your quote....

You'd think Jane Fonda would choose a powerhouse script to make her return to the big screen. Obviously, Monster-In-Law taught us otherwise.

...and here's your poster:




And finally, here's your quote....

Honestly, I can't think of anything more painful than sitting through this mess. Possibly a root canal would be a better way to spend an afternoon than with these griping, bitching, moaning gals.

...and here's your poster:




So Hollywood movie producers, if you have a true stinker that you just can't buy a decent review for....remember, 'I Read It On The Internet' is here to help.