Monday, February 19, 2007

Are You My Daddy?

Worst Case Scenario

The very sad and untimely death of Anna Nicole Smith on February 8th at the Hard Rock Hotel in Florida was only the beginning of a sad and untimely paternity battle for custody of her baby Danielynn. Once word got out that the bulk of her multimillion dollar estate would go to her young daughter, the list of potential daddys suddenly began to grow wilder than Carrot Top's hairdo.

Potential Daddy #1

The baby's birth certificate declares Howard Stern as the baby's father. That's Anna Nicole's longtime attorney Howard Stern, by the way. Leaving shockjock Howard Stern out of the potential baby lottery. The DJ Stern will have to be content with his own multi-million dollar estate.

"Wrong Stern"

Next up we have Larry Birkhead, the former boyfriend who spent quality time with Anna right around the time that she turned up pregnant. Anna's insistance on the father being her own lawyer seemed to many as a weak attempt at keeping Birkhead out of the picture....and out of the estate.

Goodbye, Larry

And that's where the weirdness starts. Suddenly, it seemed like anyone with a passing acquaintance with Anna stepped up to claim the bonanza, er the baby. Probably most shocking was the announcement that Prince Frederic von Anhalt, the husband of the actress Zsa Zsa Gabor, has said he had a decade-long affair with Smith and may be the father.

Zsa Zsa Is Not Amused

Here's another very strong possibility. Could Diddy be the Daddy?

"I'll Stake My Current Name On It!"

From this point, anything is possible. Here are a few of our favorite choices....

Lucky Guy #4

Anna is seen here being photographed with a fan. An innocent enough picture, right? And yet, he now has just as good a chance at claiming to be the father of the baby as this guy......

Lucky Guy # 5

Here's another potential daddy. Clean cut. Nice smile. Why not give him the baby and the three quarters of a billion dollars. But wait.....

Lucky Girl #6

We may soon be hearing from this potential daddy.....or mommy.....or, uh.....nah, even this story can't get THAT weird!

Thank God for DNA testing. At least poor Anna will be able to rest in peace once the paternity testing is complete, and this bizarre chapter in her tabloid-driven life is also put to rest.


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